Friday, January 1, 2010

Blue Moon Year


So, last night, a little after midnight, my husband and I sat outside (in freezing temps, I might add), and bathed in the light of the Blue Moon, we wrote down all the negative we intend to release from 2009 and everything we intend to welcome in 2010. Then, we spoke our intentions aloud out into the Universe and to the Moon.

2009 was a nasty year for a lot of folks, including us, but now we begin the years of cooperation instead of competition. And now, we can move forward without looking back, clear and focused on the moment, forgetting the past year and anxiously awaiting this new one.

But first, I wanted to take a look back at the past year with a quiz I found on Finding Trinity. A great blog you should all take a look at! I love the stories she writes about her life with her daughter. And I hope nobody passes out because I'm actually writing two blogs in a span of three days!! It might not ever happen again.
Here we go:

WHAT DID YOU DO IN 2009 THAT YOU HAVEN'T DONE SINCE HAVING A CHILD?

I began to fit back into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes.

DID YOU KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS, AND WILL YOU MAKE MORE FOR NEXT YEAR?

I don't officially make New Year's resolutions anymore. Not since realizing I can make changes all year round.

DID ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU GIVE BIRTH?

Yes, my friend, Erin (you can view her blog here) gave birth to a beautiful baby boy! He is now six months old. In this picture, Erin is holding her son and my son! She is a natural! Notice, how happy I am to let her.

Also, my cousin, Brandy, gave birth to my newest cousin, Nic! He is precious!! Congratulations to both Erin and Brandy!

DID ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU DIE?

No, just my ability to look like the woman I was in my pre-mommy days. My sense of fashion and make-up and desire to shower died this year. RIP pre-parenthood Amy.

WHAT COUNTRIES DID YOU VISIT?

Are you kidding? Time? Money? Nada. And do people with toddlers travel?

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE IN 2010 THAT YOU LACKED IN 2009?

Time. Money. A grateful attitude. Time. Money. Consistent showers.

WHAT DATES FROM 2009 WILL REMAIN ETCHED IN YOUR MEMORY, AND WHY?

July 27th - my husband lost his job
August 16th - had a miscarriage
August 21st - my son's first birthday!

WHAT WAS YOUR BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT OF THE YEAR?

Surviving.

WHAT WAS YOUR BIGGEST FAILURE?

Only surviving.

DID YOU SUFFER ILLNESS OR INJURY?

Nothing that wasn't self-inflicted.

WHOSE BEHAVIOR MERITED CELEBRATION?

On a personal level, my husband's behavior this year was outstanding. Since becoming the father of a son and the husband of an unstable mother, he has really taken hold of the crazy train and even managed to slow it down sometimes.

WHOSE BEHAVIOR MADE YOU APPALLED AND DEPRESSED?

My own.

WHERE DID MOST OF YOUR MONEY GO?

Oh, must we go here? Bills, bills, bills, health insurance, bills, bills, bills, food, bills, bills, bills, diapers, bills, bills, bills.

WHAT DID YOU GET REALLY, REALLY, REALLY EXCITED ABOUT?

I was truly excited when I found out in May that the reason for my long-time tummy suffering all these years was eating gluten. Now, that I have cut it out of my diet, I feel great!

WHAT SONG WILL ALWAYS REMIND YOU OF 2009?

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. It always brings a smile to my son's face. And all of the songs on Blue's Clue's.

COMPARED TO THIS TIME LAST YEAR, ARE YOU A) HAPPIER OR SADDER; B) THINNER OR FATTER; C) RICHER OR POORER

Sadder, thinner, poorer. But, I have great hope for the new year and in my ability to turn myself around. And I don't want to stay thin because I want to have another baby. This year, I would welcome getting fat!

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU'D DONE MORE OF?

Laughing.

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU'D DONE LESS OF?

Crying.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV PROGRAM?

Ugly Betty. And whatever would hold my son's attention and keep him still.

DO YOU HATE ANYONE NOW THAT YOU DIDN'T HATE THIS TIME LAST YEAR?

No, but I do love some people more than I did this time last year. Like DJ Lance Rock. And Joe and Steve on Blue's Clues. And Murray from Sesame Street. And Elmo. What a bunch of great guys.

WHAT WAS THE BEST BOOK YOU READ?

I haven't had the opportunity to read as many books this year as I normally do, but a couple I really liked were The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Burrows, and The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.

WHAT WAS YOUR GREATEST MUSICAL DISCOVERY?

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes and Elmo's CD of songs (a gift from my sister to Max). They both entertain my son in the car. They do, however, make my husband and I want to jump out.

WHAT DID YOU WANT AND GET?

Well, I didn't really want them, but I got some heavy-duty life lessons.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE FILM OF THIS YEAR?

What is a film? Do people with kids still watch those?

WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR BIRTHDAY AND HOW OLD WERE YOU?

I was 35. I went to my mother's house for dinner. And then I spent the rest of the evening in the ER having a miscarriage. Not my best birthday.

WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE YOUR YEAR IMMEASURABLY MORE SATISFYING?

Well, naturally, if none of the tragedies that befell us would have happened, my year would have been immeasurably more satisfying. But, all in all, I can't say that I regret any of the bad that happened in 2009. Except the miscarriage. I really would have loved to have met our bright baby soul.

But, the rest...well, I learned a lot in 2009. I learned that my greatest fears can come true and I will survive. I learned how to hold tight to my family and appreciate what matters most in this life. I learned that I am not fulfilling my life purpose and I need to find what that is. I learned that being a SAHM is much harder than it looks. I learned I can live without a pair of Uggs. I learned that eating at home every night is kinda nice. I learned that my husband is an amazing man who just wants to do right by himself and his family. I learned that my family will jump to my assistance whenever I need it the most and for that I will be eternally grateful. I learned that I can live without the nicest home on the streeet, the prettiest decor, the newest furniture, new clothes, the greenest lawn, the prettiest flowers or decent bathrooms (although I'm still struggling with that bathroom part). I learned that constantly rushing isn't worth it and I have all the time I need.

And I learned that my son will eat whatever he wants and how much he wants, when he wants, no matter how much I stress and beg and plead, so I might as well just accept it and not get frustrated when he rejects yet another food. Yesterday, I made him a ricotta cheese and raspbery puree parfait, he rejected it, and I became agitated. But, today, when he rejected tomatoes, I took it like a champ. I'm trying.

Happy New Year everybody! This year was hard for so many, but I know that if you can let go of last year and begin anew with a fresh, clear head, this year will be a knock-out!


17 comments:

  1. It says a lot when you can look back at where you were, and see how far you've come. I wish you peace, luck and joy in 2010!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yep...this year will be better. Time to laugh and enjoy.
    Living it up at Lakewood,
    Cindy

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a lovely post. It's heartening to see that you remain positive and have grown stronger and wiser after a very difficult year.

    Nowhere to go but up from here!

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMigosh I love your blog!! Thank you so much for stopping by mine. A few things I learned (that I thought about while reading your list) is you can only change what you can control. And the only thing you really can control is yourself. It took me awhile to figure this out. Once I figured that out I found so much more peace in my life. Also I learned more about life, work, and parenting waiting tables for 5 years than I did in my bachelors and masters degree combined!

    great post! I am follower now! Tammy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Amy, how wonderfully honest this post was. You still have a sense of humor through all this adversity and that is something I truly admire! Hang in there and Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Glad to see you looking up, Babe. This is your year...embrace it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You really learned a lot in 2009. A lot of people never get those lessons. Best wishes for a wonderful 2010.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I learned the most from 2009 as well. I think it was the year for all of us to really address reality like we never had to before.

    I wish you all the best in 2010!

    PS. I love how you and your husband shared your intentions with the universe ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Awww, thanks for your kind words ~ that was very sweet!!!
    Thank you for sharing this wonderful post with us. What a brave, strong woman you are.
    And what a trying year for you indeed. I too have experienced the pain of miscarriage, I am so very sorry for you loss ;(

    All the best for you in 2010.
    Keep up the great work, I always look forward to reading your blog!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am sad to say that I have yet to recover my fashion sense/desire to shower/waistline since my daughter was born. Five years ago. Maybe they will make a comeback this year, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  11. This was truly awesome! Let's all drink another big fat toast to 2010 and flush 2009 down where it belongs!

    xoxoxoMelyssa

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great post! How wonderful to be able to honestly asses where you've been and make peace with it.
    I thought about doing these questions on my blog but as I thought of the answers I felt a bit of sadness. So I will leave 2009 behind me and keep all eyes and thoughts ahead of me.
    Congrats to you for weathering the storm called 2009!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Amo,
    A wonderful post. I am wishing you the very best for 2010. You had some rough times in 2009 but it sounds to me that it has made you a stronger person that is looking forward to a positive future. I think you and your family will have a bright new year and decade.
    Jane

    ReplyDelete
  14. An amazing heartfelt reflection on one hell of a year. Hoping 2010 is the best year ever!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I know that 2010 will be much better - I don't know anyone who had a good 2009.. I am glad it's over and look forward to the possibility of a new and more improved year - so sorry for your loss - I had a miscarriage on my husband's birthday - years ago - I hate the fact that I will always remember the date -
    You are incredible and strong and so very glad I have "met" you in blogging land. Looking forward to more of your inspiring posts.
    Love to you
    Kelly

    ReplyDelete
  16. Okay...I'll be honest...I didn't read through all of your questions/answers (but, I think I'll go back!). Celiac...it's gotta be tough...seems like we live in a "gluten" world! At least I've already banned donuts!

    ReplyDelete
  17. So sorry for all of the hard times you have had during 2009! Here's hoping 2010 is the best year ever for your family!!! :)

    Great pics by the way! You have such a cute family! :)

    ReplyDelete

I love your lovely thoughts...