Thursday, January 7, 2010

I Heart Max (and again, Richard Simmons)

So, I have been down the past couple of days because I'm not pregnant again. Maybe I should just go ahead and have surgery again. I really had faith and hope that I would be able to get pregnant this time without another surgery, especially after getting pregnant in July (even though I had a miscarriage)...I really believed it to be true, but now I'm not so sure.

My husband and I are desperate for our son to have a sibling. My life wouldn't have been the same without my sister and my husband's wouldn't have been the same without his older brother and younger sister. We both believe it is so important for our son to have a brother or sister, someone to grow up with, to learn to share with, to fight with, to learn conflict resolution with, to love and share life with. Someone to share the burden of our inevitable aging and death. He needs a family member for life. Someone close to his age and who knows all the family secrets!

But, even if I never have another baby, at least I have my Max. He is my dream come true and I am blessed beyond words to have him. He is a miracle baby - my doctor didn't think I would really be able to get pregnant, even after surgery, because my endometriosis was so advanced. But, guess what? I did! And now I have my precious son, Max, who makes me smile, laugh, cry happy tears, cry frustrated tears, and count my blessings every day.

And, of course, I always have Richard Simmons to bring a smile to my face.

I love Richard Simmons. I wrote about him once before on my blog HERE. I have a lot of respect for the work he does. And he is so nonsensical and screwy sometimes that I can't help but be happy when I see him on TV. I tend to like the types of people who drive others crazy, like Richard Simmons and people who talk a lot.

Lucky for me, he was on Ellen yesterday, right in the middle of my down-in-the-dumps period. This was my son's first Simmons exposure and he was absolutely fascinated with him. I've never seen my son be still for such a long period of time. He was, dare I say it? enthralled with Richard Simmons.

So, I heart Richard Simmons who brought a smile to my face yesterday when I couldn't do it on my own.

Then, today, my other light in the darkness, Max, brought smiles and kept me busy, so I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself.

My son, God bless him, loves to throw his blankie over his head and walk around the house running into walls. He thinks it's hilarious and it freaks out our dogs. Remember that kid in the '80's movie, Parenthood, who walks around with a bucket on his head, running into walls? Yeah, that was my son this morning.

My son with his blanket on his head as he ran into this wall...

and this wall...

and this wall.

After his head had enough of a beating, I changed him into his paintin' clothes and let him finger paint for a while.

After a much needed bath, I let him play with his Play Clay. This was his first Play-doh-ish experience.

Then, it was lunch time and now he is napping quietly. All of this before noon.
He takes my blues away. Just one laugh, one look of excitement on his face, one hug, and all the feeling sorry for myself is gone. How can I feel sorry for myself when I have Max?


  1. Oh he is SO cute! I never thought to let my Max finger paint in the high chair...BRILLIANT!!!
    I love that part of Parenthood. My BFF Janice and I always say "help, help, help" like that little kid when he gets stuck in the lawn chair. Makes me laugh every single time! I still feel strongly you WILL get pregnant and carry to term all by yourself. (well, your husband may have a small part in it) I just do.

  2. He is darling. I am so with you. My son was also a total miracle, so much so that I won't be having another biological child. We are on a wait list for adoption, but the older he gets (just turned five) the more I am wondering if I might just decide that an only is ok. But I want him to have a sibling for the same reasons you stated. Big hugs and here's to things working out in the BEST way possible! I too bet that it WILL happen again for ya! :)
    Yay for Richard making you smile today!

  3. He is adorable. What an understandable, lovable mother you are.
    I like crazy people, too, especially ones who live life the way they want to.

  4. I love Richard too! I remember an episode of Ellen when he wiped out backstage, hilarious!

    So sorry things aren't going well in your quest for a new baby. This probably sounds hokey, but when I was trying for my second baby, I carried a small moonstone in my pocket every day, and sat it on my bedside table at night. It's a symbol of fertility, and it was something comforting to touch when I was feeling down.

  5. That's exactly how I feel about my little guy!

  6. Max is adorable. He looks like he is really into the finger painting and play might have an artist on your hands!

  7. I had a lot of trouble getting pregnant with my daughter and I was told that I probably wouldn't have another the "old fashioned way" due to scar tissue. However, exactly 3 1/2 years later my son was born. You just never know what's in store for you. I know with us, we just went on with our lives thinking if it happens great. I hate when someone says, "I know what you are going through," so I will just say my thoughts are with you...

  8. I also have a soft spot for Richard. I grew up watching my mom "sweatin' to the oldies". How can he not make you smile? He's completely over the top crazy. Just the way I like them!

    So sorry about the disappointment. But you never know what next month will hold! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

    Love the pictures. He is absolutely beautiful. My son does the blanket thing too. They think they're so funny. :)

  9. Adorable!! I love it! Of course he had to like Richard mother, like son. What a sweetie! I'm glad he took your blues away. He sure is good for that. Such an irresistable smile!

  10. Max is so cute. Crashing into the walls with his blanket on his head made me laugh. He's a hoot!
    Living it up at Lakewood,

  11. You may heart Richard, but I heart a Mom who grabs her camera to take pics of her babe running in to wall after wall after wall instead of removing his blankie.
    Hang in there baby, I'm sure there will be a positive test this new year:)

  12. Oh wow... what a cutie!!
    Thanks for sharing those pics!!

    Trinity was a miracle baby for me, and I often wish that I could give her a sibling as well. I was an only child, and really... looking back, I don't think i'd have it any other way. I tell myself, there are worse things in life than having your parents undivided love and attention ~ except when you break something and have no one to blame it on. That would have been cool.
    ((hugs)) to you ;)

  13. Max is completely adorable and boys are just so awesome to me. I know how you feel about wanting to be pregnant and it not happening. If you find yourself with a few free minutes, read my post titled Hard Labor.

    Chin up :)

  14. My kids always loved to cover their heads and walk around! Isn't that crazy? Anyway, you are very blessed to have him!

    I have know so many women who struggle as you do. I can't imagine the pain and frustartion given that is not my trial. However, I can offer a word of encouragement and a hug. Keep praying! I have two friends who were never supposed to get pregnant after a first and now they both have more kids! One even had twins. I pray this will be your victory as well. If not, I pray that God fills any void in your life with more love than you can imagine.

  15. I'm so sorry Amy! I wish there was something I could do to help you! I will continue to say a little prayer for you. :)

    Your son is adorable! Sounds like the two of you had quite a fun day! :)

  16. I just read your guest post at B is for Brown and I had to run right over here to check out your blog! You have a great writing style!

  17. I also just read your post on B is for Brown and I loved your story of your grandmother! Sounds alot like mine who raised me.... Ha! Ha! She still is sharp tounged and my hubby I think still is weary of her LOL....I am too for that matter but I love her dearly :0)

    LOL about your son with the blankie over his head.... the pic of the doggy looking at him is priceless....

    One of my dearest High School Friends had Endometriosis and was also told she wouldn't be able to have children and she had one shortly after and then after struggling for 4 years she had another little girl.... Don't give up hope....

    Your son is precious....
    Summer :0)

  18. Very sweet. I met Richard Simmons at the Atlanta airport- he was boarding (wearing biker shorts - no more dolphins) and I yelled out "Hi, Richard" he stopped in his tracks turned around ran over to me hugged me and said meet me up in first class and we'll do butt crunches all the way to Los Angeles.... I always smile remembering that story...
    Love to you as always.

  19. Max is a doll baby! Haven't visited with you in forever...hope you're doing well now!

  20. I have endometriosis too. They also told me I wouldn't have kids. I have two. I hope Max gets a sibling soon.


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