The Big Bucks, or just some bucks would do

So, after some rather disheartening financial news this weekend where I spent two days crying and having anxiety attacks, I decided it is time to start my Money Monday series. I need to change my attitude about money and I hope this is the book to help me do it: Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health and Happiness.

I will write about what I learn every Monday (as long as I can remember where I left my book) and hopefully this will help me put into practice the book's principles (as long as my son doesn't find my book first and use it as a bath toy).

Money has never been very important to me. My grandmother always told me to marry a man who was going to make money, but that just wasn't me. I knew I would marry for love whether he was a street sweeper or a millionaire.

Growing up, my family was middle-class. I grew up not wealthy, but not lacking anything either. When I became an independent adult, I had a job as a manager of a clothing store and I made enough money for me to pay my bills and have a little left over. When I got married, my husband and I also made just enough money to pay our bills and have a little left over. But, after we had our son, we decided that I should stay at home with him while my husband worked, which left us just being able to pay our bills.

Then, last year, my husband lost his job. Ever since then, we have been on a financial roller coaster that has cost us both many sleepless nights. For the first time in my life, I care about money.

Why? Because it isn't just me anymore.

I have a son. And another son on the way. And I never want my kids to be without. And I don't want to have to worry anymore about how we will provide the basics for them or how we will afford birthday presents and Christmas presents - the worry takes physical and emotional power away from me, which makes it impossible for me to give my children all of the attention they deserve. The worry distracts me, and frankly, it is pissing me off.

I want to be able to give my children all of me.

So, thus begins my new series, Money Mondays, and hopefully, a new attitude about the green, the moolah, the Benjamins, the dough, the bread, the bucks, the Gs, the dead presidents, the pesos, the change, the whatever you like to call it. I just want to call it "MINE!"