Friday, September 4, 2009

A little laughter goes a long way...

So, I learned a valuable lesson today.

I have been in a foul mood for days. The above picture demonstrates exactly how I have been feeling, although my reasons have nothing to do with my mean parents making me wear an itchy tuxedo simply for their own entertainment and cutie pie pictures to embarrass me with someday (sorry, sweetheart).
It is the stress of waiting, waiting, waiting, to see if my husband will find a job. His severance runs out in one week. After that, if he doesn't find a job, we are screwed. I was hoping, hoping, hoping, that tonight we would be drinking the bottle of champagne we have been saving in the refrigerator, celebrating his new job. But, we haven't heard anything. And since this is a holiday weekend, it won't be until mid-week or the end of the week before we know anything. Days before his severance runs out.

And I haven't felt quite right since my miscarriage. My mood is off and I have a feeling that the scar tissue from my c-section last year and the scar tissue from my endometriosis are wreaking mucho havoc down there in the lower regions, causing me to have a constant ache in my abdomen. Stupid scar tissue.

I also discovered that some of my favorite pictures of my son were deleted from my camera when I saved them onto the computer. Not sure what I did to make that happen, but I was pissed.

The problem is when I am terribly afraid of the future or sad because of the past or present, these emotions reveal themselves on the outside as anger. I suppose it is my defense mechanism to keep from crying all the time, although the foulness of my mood just causes other problems.

So, I was in my son's room with him this afternoon, playing with his recycling truck and his blocks. I laid down on the carpet, as I often do when he has worn me out, and sprawled out my legs and hair and arms.

Suddenly, my son dove on top of me and rolled over my body onto the floor next to me. He thought it was hilarious!! He laughed and laughed, and decided to do it again. He rolled over me and screamed and giggled over his own cleverness. Even though I wasn't in the mood whatsoever to laugh, I forced myself to fake laugh for him.

And a funny thing happened. The more I fake laughed, the funnier he thought it was. And the more he laughed, the more my fake laugh became a real laugh. We just layed on the floor together, staring straight into each other's eyes, and laughed as hard as we could!

He started poking his finger in my mouth because he is fascinated by my teeth, so I stuck my finger in his mouth and touched his teeth, which he also thought was hilarious! Then he leaned down and baby kissed me, which of course consists of just drool (he hasn't quite gotten the kissing thing down yet), and I was thrilled. We must have layed there and laughed, touching each other's teeth, for at least a couple of minutes.

And you know what? When I sat up, I felt so much better. The anger that was hardening my heart went away and I felt so light. So airy. When my husband walked in the room, I didn't try to kill him with my eyes. I even smiled! I forgot to be foul!

So, lesson learned. When wishing that my looks could kill, stop and laugh like a child. Repeat at least once a day. Gosh, I just hope I can remember to do it again tomorrow.

And I hope I never use the word "gosh" on this blog again. Where did that come from?


  1. I'm so glad you were able to get a good laugh in and are feeling better now! I always say don't be afraid to laugh and play like a child! :)

  2. Oh, and I hope your hubby gets the job and you hear something real soon!

  3. Amy, hubby and I were just reading this and the part about being angry and fearing the past and future is so familiar. I'm so glad that you were able to have a fake laugh that became real. We were actually talking about that last night. It feels good to be "light" doesn't it? Keeping my fingers crossed for your hubby!

  4. Btw, I added your button to my page. I always love and appreciate the encouraging words you so often give me!

  5. This is really such an important lesson: when all else fails, just laugh!

    Around this time last year, my husband was laid off for the second time in 6 months. A week after he was laid off (with only 2 weeks of severance pay in our savings account), we were in an accident and our car was totaled. Nothing seemed to be going right, and I'd just found out that I was pregnant with our second son, a surprise baby. It was hard not to be worried about everything, and I also found that my fear often manifested itself in frustration.

    Thankfully, things have a way of working themselves out when you least expect it - it took nearly four months, but after what must've been hundreds of phone and in-person interviews, my husband was finally able to secure work with a job that he's still currently employed with. We were able to scrape together enough money to buy a used car, and were even able to move into a bigger house with the new financial stability.

    I think my point is that no matter how low we drop in life, there's always the hope that things will get better with time. I sincerely hope this is the case with your family - you'll definitely be in my thoughts and prayers!

  6. Its amazing what kids can do isn't it? I'm sorry you were feeling low and I hope everything works out alright for you. It sounds cliche but everything really does happen for a reason and it all works out ok in the end. Don't forget to laugh tomorrow :)

  7. I hope you get good news soon. It's amazing how something as simple as a laugh can be so magical.

  8. This is so true for me. So often I am frustrated or anxious and don't take the time to "smell the flowers". I'm glad you were able to laugh and it made you feel better.

    Good luck with the job search. We were in your shoes 4 years ago and it was very stressful. I hope you hear something soon!

  9. You're very, very welcome! And by the way, there's a little something waiting for you on my blog - enjoy! =)

  10. Oh Amo, why is it that I can so totally relate to you. So listen, a few weeks back I was totally in a mood. Down, depressed,..just all over blah. Tired of the struggle,..kwim? Trying to run hubby's business since he was laid off a while back, selling the house, and etc. I swear everything I looked at seemed disapointing. I found myself saying things like, "This isn't what I thought would happen when I got married. Why is this house always a mess, why is my backyard always a mess, why don't I know how to be a Mom lately, where am I, who am I? You know, all the guilt and stress we put on ourselves. THEN, I read this:
    "You Got A Minute?" That's right. Your post. You seemed to somehow explain my life and self to a "T." Your words were so encouraging. I had my husband sit down and I read your post to him. It was so touching and it seemed to put things back into perspective. So just so you know,..your struggles are others inspirations. "Gosh" I'm sounding so deep tonight!? We should make you a shirt that says, "I'm tired of being an inspiration!"

    Playing with baby is always the quickest way to end a fowl mood and I'm crossing my fingers for your husband's job! I swear if you guys lived close I would just have you send your husband over to work with my husband. Forget the economy! At this point I think hubby and I could write a book on how to own your own business. The economy has forced it out of us!

    Keep us posted if the bottle of champagne gets opened anytime soon!

  11. so glad you found me - i love your humor already! i too am an endometriosis statistic - so not fun - but i have twin girls due to the modern medicine and a true miracle who is 6 months now -- looks like we'll have lots to share in our blogs - thanks for saying hi!

  12. Such a great post! I am going to take this great advice:) I've never thought of it that way, but my hairy eyeballs do get pretty deadly when I'm, "in a mood"! Thanks for the great, "laugh like a child" tip! :)


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