Monday, September 21, 2009

Date Night? Nah....

My husband and I don't do date nights. We have been on I think 2 dates since our son was born a year ago. Once to a matinee to see The Hangover and once out for dinner and drinks on our anniversary. We just can't seem to get it together enough to plan one and get a babysitter and then go through with it all. We talk about going on a date, but then...

The truth is...and this is like the cardinal sin of parenting, I know, if you want to stay sane and bonded with your spouse...but...we'd rather stay at home with our son.

Please don't yell at me! (I'm crossing my arms up in front of my face and wincing)

When I tell people this, they look like they want to slap some sense into me. "WHAT? YOU'D RATHER STAY AT HOME WITH YOUR KID?" Yes, we would.

Have you ever seen the first episode of The Brady Bunch? The one where Mike and Carol get married and go on their honeymoon? Then they miss their kids so much that they leave the hotel in the middle of the night and go pick up their kids and bring them along on their honeymoon? That's what we are like. We are like Mike and Carol Brady, except I don't have a mullet and Steve isn't gay.

Our version of a date is renting a movie after Max goes to bed. And that has only happened a handful of times, too (like last week, we rented The Soloist, but Steve fell asleep sitting up on the couch, his head fallen forward on his chest, within the first 20 minutes. He blamed it on the potatoes we had for dinner. Yay, date night).

Where am I going with this? I don't know. It's just something I was thinking about because perhaps...just maybe...we could enjoy 3 or 4 hours without our son and go on a date. I think I might be ready.

Hmmmm...it will be harder to convince my husband than me. If he could, he would attach Max to my right hip and his left, sewn and dangling between us...the three of us, walking together in a Red Rover line forever and forever. I hope he doesn't read this post - I don't want to give him any ideas...

How about everyone else? How often do you have date night? And is it hard for you to get away?

19 comments:

  1. You most certainly won't hear any yelling from me - my husband and I have never had more fun than we do hanging out with our children. Our oldest has only been separated from us twice - once when my mother offered to watch him so that I could have a wisdom tooth extracted, and again when I was transferred to the hospital to deliver his baby brother via C-section.

    I know it's an accepted idea that the only way to stay united enough to handle parenthood is to indulge in "date nights", but... honestly, sitting down together to watch late-night sitcoms once the kids are in bed is enough of a date for me! =)

    So, in short... you're totally not alone!

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  2. Date night? YEAH!!! I have to say, maybe when our first was a baby we didn't do much, but now that we have two, we can't wait for the times to go out ALONE!

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  3. Heck yeah, we are in the same boat as you. We RARELY get to go out. We do have my two sisters that absolutely love their nephew and have to kick us out to go run errands or whatever just so they can spend some time with him. (yeah, I know, it's such a problem. LOL)

    The other issue we have is if we DO want to go out and my sisters aren't available, we hesitate to hire a babysitter we really don't know. Hesitate as in "we've never done it yet." It's so so hard! MJ is almost 2.5 and we still haven't hired a babysitter. Is there some sort of AA for this kind of problem?

    Like you said, we'd rather stay home with the little dude. :)

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  4. I see where you're coming from, why would you want to leave that little nugget, they don't stay babies forever!

    Now that our kids are older (3 and 5) we have date night every couple of months, usually for a birthday or anniversary. But we reeeeallly look forward to it when we do, and do appreciate those hours away.

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  5. When he's older and when there's another one added to the mix, you will want to get out more. Don't forget your babysitter is always willing and able! :D

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  6. My husband and I are exactly the same way. Our son is now 20 months and we just love working together to take care of him. We cook dinner together and hang with him and then when he goes to bed we get maybe an hour of awake time together. We watch gritty cop shows and laugh at late night, if we can stay up that long.
    We have had a few date nights, mostly for our anniversary but it's not that important to us. When he gets older maybe it will...

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  7. I can't yell at you. I felt the same way. I think I had less than 5 babysitting nights ever and that's between two kids. I just never felt the need to get away.

    BUT, they say it's vital to the marriage to do that. So maybe we should.

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  8. Well, we always believed in taking a vacation each year (it might only be a weekend) without our children. We would also take a vacation each year with our children. At least once every two weeks we had dinner out ALONE. When our own children married and had children we suggested the same to them. They agreed and do the same.

    We've been married almost 55 years and our sons 26 and 22 years. Going out on date night and date weekends worked for us.

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  9. Date night,...what's that. It sounds familiar, like something I did in my twenties???

    Hmmm, wait. We did have date night last Saturday. We rented a romantic movie and layed pillows and blankets out on the floor.Cuddled in with our fancy kernel korn popcorn and enjoyed one another.
    --------TRANSLATION---------
    Romantic Movie: Ice Age
    Pillows and Blankets: Slumber party with the 2 kiddo's
    Fancy Popcorn: eaten off the floor once my son got a hold of it.

    Still,...MAGICAL!

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  10. I forgot to mention one little detail. My husband was in charge of renting the movie He's cheap and somehow the movie ended up being in,...are you ready,...SPANISH.

    I don't speak spanish.

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  11. Date night...what are these words of which you speak?? As for me, I'd love to get out, alone, just my husband and I, without my three children hanging off my body. To eat dinner, slowly, without coloring on a placemat or feeding a baby or pulling kids up off the floor back onto the booths. To drink a nice glass of wine and talk to my husband without the constance interruptions or hearing "stinky butt" over and over again while trying to eat. Yeah. I think I could do that.

    But will it happen?

    Ha ha. Are you kidding me? All that planning, and follow through...nah. Aint gonna happen anytime soon.

    We can't even...well, you know...because we share our bed with the baby. If we wanna...well, you know...we have to actually sneak downstairs into the living room, or kitchen, or wherever. I guess we don't need date night...all the sneaking around and muffled giggling keeps the excitement alive. ;)

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  12. I can understand that! With my first born my husband and I use to fight over who was going to comfort him when he cried( during the day of course, at night he was all mine). He was over a year old before I let him sleep over night at my moms house, I know a bit much, but that was my little honey and I wanted to be with him every second of everyday!
    Fast forward 6 years and a total of 3 kids later date night( outside of our home) does not exist. The last time we went to the movies was before my daughter was born and she's two now.
    Date night for us is when we actually get to sleep in our bed alone( just the two of us)!

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  13. I remember the days when date night to me would be watching my kids sleep... the peace of it - now that they are in the beginning of their teen years.... I soooooooooooo need date night!
    Enjoyed reading your blog.
    Love,
    Kelly

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  14. we actually do have a date night once a month - my sister-in-law's in-laws do the babysitting for us, and when we moved near them when our twins were 9 months, they presented the idea to us - they would babysit one saturday night a month from 5 - midnight so that we could get out -- and we've done this for 2 years now -- we plan in january the jan-june dates and then june- december dates so we always know ahead of time -- sometimes, i don't always feel like getting out, but once i am out, i am so thankful - and the best part is someone else putting my three kids to bed for me - for some reason that's what i appreciate a break from every now and then. but it's always nice to walk back in and peek at all three of them sleeping and know that we are all back under one roof again.

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  15. There are many couples who feel as you do, especially with their firstborn. Being a family is what you enjoy -- you had time to be a couple before he was born and you will have couple time in the future. When my husband and I tried to go on date nights when my daughter was small, we ended up talking about her the whole night anyway!

    When you get a chance, please stop by to pick up a Lovely Blog Award that I have for you!

    http://newenglandnanny.blogspot.com/2009/09/walking-red-carpet.html

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  16. Our church does this thing were if you attend on Sunday you get a pass for free childcare on the following Friday night. We can drop Brody off at 6 and pick him up at 9:30. We try to do this every week, but we have only left him until 9:30 once! We really enjoy going out but we don't want to spend 4 hours away from him, so I understand missing Max! Maybe you could just go out once every few weeks until you are really ready to start going out more regularly! Don't feel bad at all! I think all parents feel like that. Plus, sometimes it's just easier to stay at home then get packed up and send him somewhere or have a gradparents come over! :)

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  17. We go out when we can but at least a couple of nights a month.

    This cracked me up: except I dont have a mullet and Steve is not gay hahahaha

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  18. What's wrong with spending time with your family and snuggling up in the safety and security of your own home? Sounds like heaven to me :)

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