Saturday, April 10, 2010

Happiness

So, the wonderful thing about life is that some days you are down, but inevitably, eventually, you will be up again. Up, up, up. You can count on it. There will come a day when you can breathe and smile and laugh. It may only last for a day, but that one day can be just what you needed to keep going on whatever path you journey along.

Or maybe, maybe, it is just a moment. A moment that comes when you finally take a deep breath and realize you have been holding your breath for way too long.

For me, this moment came one night this past week while I was lying in bed reading the same book I have been reading for three months, Eat, Pray, Love. For some reason, I cannot get through this book. Actually, I know the reason. I like to learn from the books I read - that is why I rarely read fiction. I like to read about the life lessons other people have learned and hear their true stories of sacrifice and success. The problem with this book is that it is so full of things that are important to me or that I want to learn about (things like karma, yoga, meditation, spirituality, finding one's true self, faith), but I rarely have the mental capacity at the end of the night to absorb any of it. Therefore, I don't read out of my fear of missing something. I watch TV and the book collects dust on my nightstand.

After three long months, I am almost to the end. And one night last week, I read an excerpt from the book that was just what I needed to hear:

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, ...You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it,..."

Now, these are things I already knew. However, knowing and accepting are two different things. For the first time, I accepted it. I accepted that I am the creator of my own happiness and no other being, living, dead, or heavenly, is going to do it for me. And that night, instead of praying for a job, or more money, or more friends, or a strong sense of my purpose, I prayed to remember this statement. Always. And to be reminded of it constantly lest I forget in a moment of self-pity.

I know this doesn't mean I won't have moments or days of struggle and feelings of hopelessness. But, perhaps now when I do, this statement will miraculously appear in my consciousness. And miraculously, I will have the courage and energy to put it to good use.

And if not, there is always Rocky Road ice cream. With M&Ms mixed in. On top of a brownie.

10 comments:

  1. So true, so true! Love this book and am looking forward to seeing the movie too.

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  2. :) Smiling at your lovely thoughts. Keep looking up! Love is all around you.

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  3. And bubble baths! Don't forget about those! (-:

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  4. It's silly all the time and energy we waste waiting for some ONE, or some THING to make us happy...when it is all right there, inside us.

    Let's all work on recognizing the good things we already have, and less time thinking of what we lack.

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  5. I read that book and have to tell you there were parts that did not grab me, and then there were passages like the one you quoted, so many powerful passages actullay, that I read the book twice. Thanks again for the reminder:) It really is all within our grasp.

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  6. Mmm... That last thing is a good solution to me, except my go-to food is cheesecake covered in strawberries and glaze-great, now I'm hungry. LOL!

    You're right when you say that only you can control you-your reactions, your feelings, your outlook. I realized this too, and remind myself of this fact when I see the negativity stuff closing in around me. Good for you!

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  7. my mom has always reminded me that we make our own happiness -- it's so true, but hard to accept at the same time! great post!

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  8. So true!!!
    Funny, but I have been giving alot of thought to getting back into meditation and finding that inner peace I seem to have lost along the way... but, like you, at the end of the day my brain just can seem to relax enough to start.

    ((hugs)) to you!!!

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  9. Yes, yes, and yes!! And esp. yes to the ice cream brownie treat. You are very smart and very wise. Thank you for this beautiful post!!

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  10. Good thoughts and good quote! Taking charge of our happiness is a tough thing to do...it would be so much easier if it would just fall in our laps! Stay positive. Love ya!

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I love your lovely thoughts...