Tuesday, April 6, 2010

A couple days worth of cents...and some Easter pictures, naturally


So, today has been one of those days where I feel as if I have lost all my power. Do you know what I mean? Some days, hopefully most days for your sake, you feel powerful, inspired, confident, hopeful, faithful...you just feel damn good. You drive around with your car windows down, feeling as if you can do anything and no matter what, life is going to work out for you.

Then there are days like today (or weeks in my case) where I feel like the opposite of all of those things. Powerless, stagnant, worthless, hopeless, faithless. And just exhausted with my life. The kind of days where you just feel like you can no longer deal with your everyday and you don't want to go home because there will just be more of the same there waiting for you. Not the people at your home, but the reminders everywhere of your problems. You are tired of dealing with the same lacks, the same longings, the same sadness. Just plain tired. You need a break. You don't want to learn any more hard life lessons. You want, no NEED, someone to come to your door with the solution to all your problems. Need money for groceries, preschool, health insurance, student loans, clothes, furniture for the new baby? Well, here is the way to get it.

My husband is dying to win the lottery. We are both so tired of being broke that it is slowly eating us alive. The stress of years of just surviving is getting inside of us. The jealousy I sometimes feel of people who can afford to eat out (I'm not a fan of my own cooking), go shopping, go on vacations, pay for all their needs AND wants...sometimes it makes my stomach hurt. And then, sometimes, I'm okay with it. We definitely live simple. Which can be nice and easy, and sometimes can be miserable and difficult.

Anyway, back to the lottery. My husband wants to win the lottery. And as strange as it sounds, I don't. I want someone to teach me how to make the money we need. Provide a sure-thing opportunity that I can do from home. A consistent income. Something I can do to help out with our finances while my child (and soon to be children!) naps. Something I can be proud of and passionate about. I don't want a handout. I want to provide my own money. I want to feel like a resourceful parent, a successful adult.

Is this idea too good to be true? Probably. I'm not business minded, I despise selling anything, I know nothing beyond email and blogging about the computer, I don't have the time to throw parties for Pampered Chef. I'm a busy mom who can write and loves to read. And rarely has time for those two things. I've been reading the same book for three months. I'm thinking about throwing it at the ladies in the water department next time they send us a shut-off notice.


But then, thank you God for another day. Thank you for the sleep we get at night to revive us. Thank you for the new beginning every morning, the new opportunity to start over. Another day to work on our attitudes and our ability to feel grateful for the things we do have and the people in our lives. Thank you for our children, our husbands and wives, our parents and siblings, our aunts and uncles, and dessert. Did I just throw dessert into the mix? Why yes, I did. Because without dessert, some days I just might not make it. Thank you, Universe, for Easter colored M&Ms with pictures of bunnies on them. And whoever invented Easter egg hunts, thank you to you. I think this might be the cutest thing I have ever seen. Peace!


  1. In this economy, I don't know that there IS a sure-fire way to make money. But you might want to check out Helium.com, where you can write, and if your stuff is liked, can be paid for it.

    I know this sounds so far into the future, but life will get better, and easier, in a couple of years - when the kids are out of diapers, not using formula or baby food.

    And I used to think that I didn't like to cook - I've changed my attitude about that. I look online for recipes I'd like to try; I feel a sense of accomplishment in feeding my family something that tastes good.

    I started with copycat recipes, so I could make some of the same meals that my friends with money were having when they went out to eat (and I'd think about how much money I saved by cooking it at home!). Mind games and attitude are the way out of the despair you feel.

    I'm speaking from experience (and other than this crappy tax job, 2.5 years of unemployment, and 8 months of unemployment for my husband).

  2. I don't think there ever is a sure fire way, but I do have an idea for you. You are obviously computer savvy and a seasoned blogger, so why not offer your services to a start up company or two? Manage their blog, write articles about their products, etc. I do know that some bloggers I follow do this. What about magazines or "ezines" (web magazines) I know that I have thought about this too, but I don't have the time right now. Maybe check into this?

  3. I looks like your little one had a great Easter.
    Thank-you for having a look at my blog.
    I appreciate your celiac story. Isn't it great to be feeling great again. And the food is so much healthier for you.
    I am following your blog now.
    Have a wonderful weekend.

  4. Oh God! I feel you. I really, really do. We are so broke that I want to scream when the phone rings. Just because you call 15 times a day doesn't mean that I will suddenly have the money. I don't answer it anymore or check my messages. I don't open mail either. Is that bad? Is that why my head hurts all the time? Hmmm... The water dept. sprayed our valve out front bright blue which is code for "these people didn't pay so shut we will shut them off and let everyone in the neighborhood know". So my husband went out with his black spray paint and painted over it. Made him feel better anyway. :)Today I got a summons in the mail for court because we haven't paid our homeowners association fees. When you can't keep your house, do you think I'm really worried about HOA fees?? Nope. Morons. Anyway, long comment to say I know where you are coming from and I wished you lived closer so we could be broke together. My rich friends make me want to throw things... :)

    Thinking of you...hang in there. Something has got to give, right?? Right. Hope your pregnancy is going well and if you find that magic money making scheme, fill me in, ok? ;)

  5. And I got so carried away there that I forgot to say how much I like the pictures! So cute. :)

  6. It is such a difficult economy right now and we are struggling too. My husband works like 6 jobs just to keep us paying the bills. I'm hoping to sell this book I am writing and actually help out with the finances, which would be a dream if it really happened. I know what you mean. Sometimes all these worries and concerns just eat us alive. And then there are moments like the ones you captured on camera where despite everything, life is beautiful and amazing and perfect. Your son is adorable and I love watching him hunt for colorful eggs!! Thanks for sharing. And thanks for your honesty.

  7. Those pics are absolutely adorable!! He looks like he's having the time of his life. I guess it's those days that make all the crappy ones worth while. Love ya!


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