1. As of yesterday, Max is now on a gluten-free diet. Please Lord, let it help him. And help me.
2. I found a crayon in the washing machine and a pacifier in the dryer yesterday.
3. I couldn't find my phone earlier when it was ringing - I later found it in the kitchen sink.
4. Today has been one of the most exhausting days I have had so far with two kids. Does everybody have to cry at the same time (and I'm including myself in this scenario)?
5. If I have to vacuum and mop the floor around where my son eats one more time I might jump in front of the mail truck.
6. My dog pooped on the floor today and my son got so upset about it that he threw his chicken across the room.
7. My newborn won't stop crying unless I hold him and I can't hold him all the time because of my 2-yr old, so I might not make it through today without major medication or alcohol.
8. Max colored on the den wall yesterday with a red crayon. Thank God for the Magic Eraser.
9. My 2-yr old only took a 30 minute nap today and is now way too tired, so again, I might not make it through this day without major medication or alcohol.
10. Since I can't take the time to pamper myself while taking care of two fussy small children everyday, I am going to visualize what I would do if time and money were no object.
Aaaahhh, I am so relaxed. It is such a nice change to get to eat my food while it is still hot and watch a morning show while I drink my hot tea. Ahhhhh... What a great day. I think after I casually sip my tea and slowly eat my warm bagel instead of having to shove a cold bagel down my throat in between taking care of everyone else, I will get a pedicure and then maybe do a little shopping. I could use some new cozy sweaters and furry boots. Also, I think I will stop by Kohl's and buy that soft, long, white robe I've been wanting. Then, after I stop off for a hot, hazelnut soy latte, I will go home, put on that soft new robe and watch my DVRed shows from the last few weeks that I haven't had time to watch and maybe even get to eat a hot dinner. By myself. In silence. Around 9 pm, I will snuggle up into bed, without a headache or anxiety for once, pull out that book I have been too exhausted to read, and sip some Sleepytime tea until I fall into a deep, peaceful sleep that no one will wake me from until morning. It will feel so great to get a good night's sleep. Ahhhh...I am so relaxed. What a great day.
Okay...I feel better.
Back to reality. I'm going to go take some Ibuprofen for my headache, eat M&Ms to escape my life, brush my teeth, try to get dressed before 3 pm, eat more M&Ms, try not to lock my toddler in the closet, and watch out the window for my husband to come home and help.
Drink some wine for me, will you?