Those teeth aren't going to brush themselves...

So, I haven't written or read your blogs much lately because I've been just a teensy, weensy busy. And tired.

If I'm not changing 2 kids' diapers, bottle feeding, feeding my 2-yr old, scraping food off the floor and the walls after feeding my 2-yr old, packing my son's lunch, packing my husband's lunch, doing laundry, cleaning up pee and poop from my dog, Pia, who we just found out has liver failure and is having trouble controlling her bladder and bowels, trying to keep up with the dishes, washing bottles, picking up toys...if I'm not doing any of these things, then I am either eating or sleeping.

Until the baby wakes up or my 2-yr old demands, "Choc mill! Choc mill!" which in his language means chocolate milk.

My house is never clean, I usually don't eat breakfast until I get a headache and realize that I haven't eaten, some days I don't get to brush my teeth or my hair or change my clothes, I'm always tired, we've eaten cereal for dinner several times since the baby came, I found a dirty diaper on my front porch this morning (thanks to a tired husband who didn't feel like walking to the garbage can), I can't keep a constant eye on my 2-yr old anymore so he stuck two DVDs in our TV/DVD combo and now we can't get them out...

Everyday I wonder where the time went and why my house is still such a mess and why I look and smell homeless...

yesterday I realized that my glamour days are over when I found a chunk of peanut butter in my hair and I had no idea how long it had been there...

and now we aren't sure how we are going to continue to pay for health insurance and diapers and bills...

but somehow, through all of this, I am happy. And very grateful. I have two kids. TWO! And I love them both so much. I was afraid I would never have kids and now I have two. And I am married to someone who is an incredible father and a supportive husband. And we love each other. Our lives aren't perfect. Some days my husband and I want to kill each other, we might yell and fight, or we might wish it was legal to drive our kids out to the middle of nowhere and leave them there with a sippy cup of chocolate milk and a couple of pacifiers...

but all in all, I have the greatest life. And for that, I will be forever grateful.

And now, at 3:30 pm, I just might brush my teeth.

Oh wait...nevermind. The baby is crying out for blood and I can hear my toddler dragging a tin cup across the bars of his crib.

Maybe I can brush my teeth tomorrow.

A Toddler's Tough Adjustment

So, now that I have two kids, I can't always follow my 2-yr old around the house 24-7 anymore. When I am feeding Harry or changing his diaper, sometimes Max will escape my line of vision. Our house isn't very big and it is toddler-proofed, so I don't really worry about him getting hurt. I do, however, worry about what he is destroying. Or what he is sticking where.

So far this week, my husband and I have found a candle in our bag of dog food, a xylophone drumstick in the sink drain, a tennis ball in the washing machine, and a snack container in our bedroom at the bottom of our laundry basket. There is no telling what else he has stashed in his hiding places. Yesterday he took my husband's watch and hid it in our bed between the mattress and the bed frame. It took us all day to find it.

Max is having to adjust to a new baby in the house and we can tell he is having some trouble. On the outside, he behaves as if he is excited that the baby is here. He hugs Harry, kisses him, always wants to be touching him, holding him, staring at him. But on the inside, he is having trouble adjusting and it is coming out in his behavior.

Since we brought Harry home, Max has refused to eat most meals. He already didn't eat much, but now he is refusing the few foods that he did eat before. Most of his meals end up on the floor, either because he threw it off the table or because he spit it out. He gets upset faster than before and his tantrums have doubled. He also has been waking up from his nap everyday crying inconsolably. The crying will last anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes and nothing we do can calm him down.

My husband has spent a lot of alone time with Max, trying to take him to do special activities, and we both kiss and hug him several times a day. We let him help with the baby (holding the bottle, giving Harry his pacifier, getting a diaper, etc.) and help with other jobs around the house (making coffee, getting the mail, vacuuming). My aunt bought him his own baby doll so he could hold his baby while I hold Harry. We bought him gifts "from the baby." Nothing has seemed to help him in his adjustment.

As his mommy, it breaks my heart that he is going through such a tough time. I know it won't last forever and eventually he has got to discover the joys of food and the joys of having a brother, but until then, I have a daily headache and a gut full of guilt.

Wordless Wednesday

I am the luckiest girl in the whole world...

Excuse me for my bloggin' absence, but I was having a bloggin' baby!

No, there wasn't a time warp and we weren't catapulted to September 10th, the date I was supposed to have my c-section (at 39 weeks).

My body evicted Harry ten days early for making me leak pee six times a day and causing general chaos in my abdomen and lower back. So, on Wednesday, September 1st, Harry entered our world.

Harrison Atticus-McKenzie Clark, 6 pounds, 11 ounces, 20 inches, born at 6:12 pm!

On that Wednesday morning, I had been awake since 4 am with a constant menstrual-like cramping in my abdomen. I had had this type of cramping before with both of my pregnancies, but they would eventually go away. These cramps had been constant for hours. Plus, my lower back was aching and I felt enormous vaginal pressure, like the baby's head was about to slip right out.


I went to the doctor late that morning and my OBGYN sent me to the hospital for monitoring. She wanted to see if I was having contractions. Once hooked up to the machine in triage, the nurses saw that my blood pressure was high and I was indeed having contractions, and pretty strong ones too, even though I hadn't felt a single one! I spent about six hours in triage before the doctor on call made it in to see me (still didn't feel my contractions, but they gave me happy drugs anyway). He conversed on the phone with my regular OBGYN and she told him that if I was having contractions or was dilated at all, he should do my c-section immediately because Harry's head was already dangerously low and he could come fast! He checked me and I was dilated 1 cm. So, into surgery we went!

I felt remarkably calm during this whole process, even though my blood pressure was so high. I couldn't have been happier that Harry was coming early! I was ready to meet him and I was ready to not be pregnant anymore!

The spinal block and c-section went well. I spent 3 hours in recovery because of my high blood pressure before I was able to go to my room and spend time with my beautiful baby boy.

Then, Thursday morning, Max came to the hospital to meet his little brother! He was immediately enamored! I love the last picture of my husband holding Max and Max is holding Harry. My three boys.

Max, our two-yr old, has been super stoked about having a baby in the house! He is almost a little too excited. Every time he wakes up, he says, "Baby? Baby?" He has thrown toys at Harry, shaken the baby's pack n play, tried to pour water on Harry, and grabbed Harry's feet in order to pull him around the room. And he loooooves to give him great big hugs!

Since Harry was born at 37 1/2 weeks, he is very small and spends about 23 hours a day sleeping. Because of his small size, we were told not to take him in public for 4-6 weeks. So far, he has been completely content and rarely cries. He doesn't like being messed with though, therefore diaper changes and clothing changes are not his favorite things! He makes squeaking sounds while he sleeps and has perfect almond-shaped, dark eyes and dark hair.

I bonded with Harry immediately and I even don't mind staying up in the night with him. Harry completes our family. My husband and I both look forward to what lies ahead for us now that our family is complete. We have two amazing boys and I can't believe how blessed I am. I never thought I would be the mother of boys, but now I can't imagine anything else. I am so grateful for my life and the family we have created.

Have a good day everyone! I will be sleep-deprived and probably still in my pajamas at the end of the day, but I've never been so happy to be sleep-deprived in my life!